Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Contradiction

I am weak, don't blame me. I just ordered a grande caramel frappuccino, light, with whipped cream and extra caramel topping. Not sure what the point of the "light" was since the extra caramel canceled out any calorie savings but it was so, oh so, good. I was at a traffic light in my car sipping my drink and thinking "Please, please don't turn green!"

This was one of those moments that get frozen in time, stay suspended in your consciousness as a lingering pleasant sensation for no apparent reason. Somewhere in the middle of being parked at a traffic light at the end of a long day sipping a cold drink in a hot car on a cold day watching the gray blanket of dusk slowly roll over the world I found the kind of moment that dreams are made of. Isn't it funny the things that make you feel wonderful sometimes? As I drove home I started thinking about times in my life that made me feel like I have everything I ever wanted. This was one of them. The first time I saw the mountains from a train window was another. The time this random little old lady stopped me in a Baskin & Robbins to tell me I looked good in blue. The time my brother said I was all right. Meeting H. Stopping my car to look at a bougainvillea tree next to a rundown trailer home in Ohio last year. I guess it's true. Money isn't necessary for happiness.

But then where does that leave Zagreus from the Albert Camus novel A Happy Death who had this to say about money:

"What I'm sure of," he began, "is that you can't be happy without money. That's all. I don't like superficiality and I don't like romanticism. I like to be conscious. And what I've noticed is that there's a kind of spiritual snobbism in certain 'superior beings' who think that money isn't necessary for happiness. Which is stupid, which is false, and to a certain degree cowardly. You see, Mersault, for a man who is well born, being happy is never complicated. It's enough to take up the general fate, only not with the will for renunciation like so many fake great men, but with the will for happiness. Only it takes time to be happy. A lot of time. Happiness, too, is a long patience. And in almost every case, we use up our lives making money, when we should be using our money to gain time. That's the only problem that's ever interested me. Very specific. Very clear."

So very specifically, very clearly maybe money does aid in happiness. If I didn't have the heat turned all the way up in my car I wouldn't have been in a position to enjoy an iced drink on a freezing day, if I didn't have a car I wouldn't have been able to turn the heat up in it and if I didn't have money I wouldn't have a car.

Not sure what the point of this post is except maybe a rather convoluted justification of spending $4 on something I didn’t need. Or maybe it's a precursor for something more, like this ...

Things that I would like to buy this holiday season:

Black iPod nano for my brother

Kosviner biwa pearl earrings for my sister-in-law

pink UGG slippers for R


Hermes 24 Faubourg EDP for mom

Fresh Memoirs of a Geisha bath set for best friend


Yochi earrings for other best friend

+
Nickel Creek concert tickets for J & 3 of his friends

and laptop for dad

1 Comments:

At 11/10/2005 5:38 PM, Blogger Caitlin said...

we all buy things we don't need...i think that as long as we live beneath our means and truly enjoy and value the things we do spend our money on...what in the world could be wrong with that? :)

 

Post a Comment

<< Home